Diaries of a Khajiit Alcohalic
by DragonMaiden77
Summary: Follow the misadventures of the Khajiit Dragonborn Do'Khajay Steel-Voice and his follower, the vampire Serana, as they travel to the far reaches of Skyrim and Solstheim looking for adventure, gold, and the perfect mead. Do'Khajay must face adversity, hardships and sobriety as he stumbles into quests he had not foreseen.
1. Entry 1

_Character Background: Do'Khajay will speak in the typical Cyrodill English, for he was raised on a small farm with his adopted Nord family. He did originally hail from Elswyr, and his parents joined a travelling caravan. When they were travelling, he must have crawled off or was left behind, because he was abandoned in Skyrim as a cub. There was a Nord farmer traveling back from the city when he heard a child's cry. He found the black cub alone and scared and cold. Though the farmer had three other children to feed, he couldn't help but take pity on the child and took him into the farmer's home. Renamed Draugner Steel-Voice, he went by that name up until he moved out of his childhood home and moved back to Elsweyr where he found his real name to be Do'Khajay. He wanted to keep both of his families' names, so he now refers to himself as Do'Khajay Steel-Voice. Despite being raised in Skyrim, he is still treated poorly by the native Nords. He made friends, but mostly enemies, as his thirst for mead often drives him to fighting and stealing. Though his morals are often questionable, he has a warm heart and often gives money to the poor and donations to the different temples of all the Divines, including Talos. He is superstitious and keeps many amulets of the Divines with him, worshiping at many shrines_

_Author's Note: This is an experimental piece I am doing. The spelling will be a little off I have to admit. My sense of humor is different from others and with a game like Skyrim it is hard to add your own twists, but I hope you enjoy the story of my favorite character, Do'Khajay Steel-Voice.  
_

17 Last Seed, 4E 201

I have no idea what happened last night. I made camp on the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil, ready to head back to my farm in Rorikstead. I was thirsty so I drank some of that Argonian Bloodwine I heard so much about. It wasn't too bad, but by Talos did it give me a headache. I drank about one or six bottles then was about to turn in for the night when I heard a bunch of rukus in the woods. I forget if I went to look around, because everything else was just a blur. This morning I woke up sick as a dog, blurry vision and a head ache that only the sound of trolls mating could cause. Oh, I also woke up in the back of a cart with a horse thief and the rebel leader, Ulfric Stormcloak. I had been out of Skyrim for a few months, but I heard that there was a civil war going on. They thought I was a Stormcloak rebel! Me of all people. I swear to Talos that Imperials are as biased and racist as the damned Nords. Anyway, I was going to make a run for it, but the horse thief must have had the same idea as I did.

I had been in a lot of bad situations, but this was by far the worst I have been in. They were calling the names, yet there wasn't a mention of 'Do'Khajay Steel-Voice' so I wasn't even on the list of execution. Imagine that. I never seen someone get beheaded before, and the first guy was killed. I forget his name, something Nordy I'm sure. Anyway, he gets beheaded, then they call me next. 'Next, the cat.' By the Divines I may be Khajiit but I'm a Nord at heart, I mean, I'm pretty sure we all look the same inside so yeah. I asked the captain for a drink before I get chopped and she slapped me. I took that as a no.

Well, there I was, kneeling in front of a man with my mouth by his crotch. I hadn't done something this ridiculous since that time I had Argonian Mead back in Whiterun when I ran an errand for Pop. I never thought I would be doing something in that position again. Anyway, the executioner rose his ax above his head and was about to strike me when a miracle happened.

Well, miracle in one term, but terrifyingly horrible and would probably kill everyone in this little town of Helgen we were apparently at. It was a dragon.

A huge gust of wind came right past us and blew the executioner right away, and I was knocked back as well. It blurred my vision and I was dizzy, but one of the men that was on the cart with me helped me up and took me to one of the Imperial towers. The dragon broke it and killed a solider, but I managed to escape. I met up with the bastard who sent me to the chopping block, but he decided to aide me. Apparently the guy who was in the cart and the bastard knew each other, because they were fighting. I really cared little for their petty squabble, and decided to leave both of them to the clutches of the dragons. I may be a Nord at heart, but I never said I was a noble one. I'm positive that they both got out okay, but if not then both can settle their problems in Sovengarde.

I managed to escape the burning town by crawling through some underground caverns. I discovered that they took everything from me. My weapons, my armor, and more importantly, my mead and wine, all gone. The escape from Helgen took a few hours, and by the time I was freed I was exhausted and my whole body shook from exhaustion and lack of alcohol in it. I took some armor from a dead Stormcloak and found an old bow with a few rusty arrows. It will have to do until I can afford some more equipment. My bed roll was left back at my camp, so I traveled a little ways and stumbled upon the town of Riverwood. It was dainty and quaint; it reminded me of my own little village.

I managed to find some coin to rent a room for the night. The owner, Delphne I think her name is. I don't really like the look of her, and she has a really bad attitude, really nosy. Something tells me she is definitely a spinster. I bought some mead and took a seat by the fire. Word had spread fast that there was a dragon attack, and the local smith asked if I could head up to Whiterun and warn the Jarl. I had nowhere else to go, so I agreed and told him that I'd do it first thing in the morning, given that he pay for my meal and my drink for the night. He agreed happily, though in the morning when he gets the tab I think he will regret our bargain. I had some Seared Slaughterfish, sort of like what Ma used to make, but this was actually good.

Before sunset I headed over to the local store and the shop owner and his sister (rather ugly lass, but from behind she didn't look half bad) were having a fight. I don't really want to intrude, but the owner tells me about their fight anyway, and wants me to help him get some sort of ornament back from some bandits held up in the old Nord ruin in the mountain. I say in my mind there is no way in Aetherius that I will be doing that, but I tell him if I get time I'll be sure to look out for it. I buy my new journal and a quill from him then head back to the Inn. After I finish writing this, I think I'll buy some good old Nord Mead from that grouchy guy that made my Slaughterfish. Hopefully I won't run into that dragon or those two guys from Helgen again tomorrow.


	2. Entry Two

18 Last Seed, 4E 201

So today started off like every other day. I woke up at the inn after having between two and ten bottles of Nord Mead last night, nothing out of the ordinary. I bought some ale to wake me up and get me back on my feet. A local man came up and patted me on the back, saying last night he had a real nice time. I didn't look too far into that comment, for fear of what I did, but he said I was his new favorite drinking buddy, so alls well that ends well I guess. I finished my ale and decided to begin the venture to Whiterun. I could see the Barrow looming in the distance, and I did what all smart Nord's would do (well, hypothetical smart Nords) and decide to ignore it. I said smart, not brave. I walked the worn cobbled path without any trouble actually. Just a walk along the river and by the forest, kinda pleasant actually. Well it was until I heard the screeching of a giant anyway. I know better than to attack a giant with the meager equipment I have by myself, but there were a few other people attempting to fight it off. They didn't look like they needed any help. Down he fell like an oak and the people who killed him looked at me with as much hate in their eyes as possible, especially this one Nord chick. By the Nine was she nice and curvy, and her armor was a little askew and showed some of her most precious gems. She was a complete and utter nightmare though, she stood there for about five minutes telling me how weak I was. She then said something about the Companions and said that they were some sort of warrior group. I didn't really care much about being part of a fighting guild. I'm a lover not a fighter, but I asked her about it anyway, just to be polite. She said I probably couldn't join because I looked like a milk drinker (I am positive that she said that because I am a Khajiit). That's when she said it was in Jorrvaskr… The Mead Hall. I admit I stopped listening at that point and made it my mission to join this little club, even if it was full of idiotic brutes, just so I could get all that mead. I told her I wanted to join right away, but she said I had to talk to the Harbinger. I'm more than positive that he would accept me with open arms. I told them I would see them soon, and that girl with the nice jewels told me she highly doubted it. I wanted to prove her wrong right away, but I had an errand to run first. At least I thought it was just an errand.

I go to the city gates and the guard refused to let me in. He said it was because of the dragons, I _KNOW _it was because I'm a Khajiit, and all those damned Nords are racist. I told him he wouldn't let me in because I was a Khajiit, and I could tell that this dumb brute was confused, a Khajiit that talks like a Nord. After his initial shock, he said that wasn't the case at all. We fought for a few more minutes until I had enough and snapped and told him if he didn't let me in I would beat him to death with a broom. He reacted unkindly towards this statement.

After he attempted to subdue me in the fight, I told him that I had new about the dragons, and he reluctantly let me in. He said, and this was his words, 'I'll be watching you, cat.' I hate Nords (other than my dear mother and father and my brothers, well, except for maybe Sjorvar who put Frostbite Spider Venom in my soup once). Much of my time was wasted talking to that dense idiot, and it was about midday when I finally walked into Whiterun. The place wasn't that new to me, I had come here to run errands a few times for Pa, but I never really heard about Jorrvaskr or the Companions, well maybe I did but I just don't care to remember it. Anyway, I made my way up to the Cloud District to go speak with the Jarl. However as soon as I got there I was nearly assaulted by a Dark Elf. I swear to Talos she was going to skewer me with her sword. Before she had a chance to swing I told her I knew about the dragon. Well that caught the Jarl's attention and he stopped her before she could slice me up into pieces. I told him about the dragon, and then he, his steward, and the crazy Dark Elf ginger began arguing about politics and dragons. I hate getting in the middle of conflicts, so I just stayed quiet and watched them sort it out. Finally the Jarl remembered I existed and gave me some new armor for my trouble. It fit like a glove too, though like all the clothes I ever bought, I had to rip a hole in the back for my tail, which was difficult because it was steel armor.

After that, he asked me to go talk to his pet wizard, that he was doing some research on dragons. I wanted to tell him there was a mead hall with my name written on it, but he was the Jarl, and I guess the dragons coming back is a pretty big deal, so I decided to go talk to this Farengar fellow. He wasn't too bad of a Nord, I would have gotten along with him great if he would stop talking down to me. Anyway, he told me he was looking for this Dragonstone, a stone that has the burial sites of dragons on it (why bury a dragon though?). He wanted me to go into an ancient ruin to get this stone tablet. Oh, and better yet, the name of this ruin?

Bleak. Falls. Barrow.

It was that stupid place that that store keepers little ornament was. Well, I guess I have to get that stupid claw back for him after all, which is great of course. I told the wizard I would go there first thing in the morning, but for now I really needed to rest. So I headed right to the Inn and ordered some Honningbrew Mead and got ready to settle down. The bard is playing a nice catchy war tune, and I think that's about it for today's adventure. On my fifth Honningbrew Mead bottle and order some Venison. Tomorrow I have to go to that stupid Barrow and get two objects for people I hardly know. It's hard being such a good person.


	3. Entry Three

19 Last Seed, 4E 201

Today was just… There are no words to describe it. It just went from bad to worse as the day progressed. It almost literally blew my mind. Right out of my ears.

The day began after a rousing night of drinking. I had drunk about five or eighteen Honningbrew Meads the previous night, and then they ran out so I had to drink Nord mead. It was a great night but a rough morning. I still had a half bottle of the mead in my hand. I must have fallen asleep before I could finish it. I drooled a little bit on it too, but I wasn't really picky about what I drank anyways. I left about five septims on the table for that cute Redguard girl who worked there. It was more of a pity tip then anything, because she would have to be the one to clean up the room. I bought about two ales this time, I needed a pick me up, and sat by the fire as a few warriors told their tales of adventure. A rather muscular woman told me that it was a little too early to be drinking, and I told her it wasn't too late to shave her beard. She took some offense to that.

She knocked the ale from my hand and then socked me right in the jaw. I fell off the bench and my head was spinning worse than it was before. I saw three women standing over me, must have been triplets. The middle one picked me up and slammed me against the wall. My vision became clearer and I realized there was only one of her instead of three. It would be an even fight now, and by even, I mean that I had a little trick up my sleeve. I lashed out at her, my claws digging into the side of her face. She yowled in pain and stumbled back, her foot stepping into the fire. The patrons of the inn were cheering us on, though I couldn't say if there were cheering me or her on. Anyway, I aimed for her face again and while she was reeling from the slash and the burned foot, my claws dug right into her eye. She fell to the ground and looked at me in shock that a Khajiit had bested her.

Being the good sport that I am, I helped her up and got her a cloth to clean up the blood. She asked how I learn to fight like that. I told her I was raised in Skyrim and brought up to fight and feel like a true Nord. She told me I certainly fought like one, then she gave me two hundred septums (which was great, because I spent all mine at the Inn for the room and the mead). She told me if I ever needed help with anything that I should come to her and she would aid me on my quests. I thanked her, but inside I knew that I would probably never talk to her again. So after that little bit of unwanted excitement, I left the warm inn and began the journey to Bleak Fall Barrows.

On the way, I was attacked by bandits. I don't know what they expected to get from me, I honestly don't have anything to my name, maybe some empty bottles of ale and mead but that is pretty much it. They still attacked me though, so I had no choice but to defend myself. There were only three of them so it wasn't really that difficult, but it still really tuckered me out. I rummaged through their little tower and found some Nord Mead. Noting special, but it was enough to get me moving again. After I drank it, the Barrows awaited. I could see it from the tower, and it looked really spooky for lack of better words. I ran into some more bandits, except they were a little stronger and they had higher numbers. It took longer to take them out, and I did suffer some injuries for my victory. Then came entering the Barrow itself.

Bandits. Spiders. Draugr. Oh my!

It was incredibly dark and pretty depressing. It was a crypt though so I guess it has to be. When I walked in my nose was assaulted by the stench of death and decay. There were a lot of skeever droppings and dead skeevers around though. Oh, and surprise surprise, more bandits. Seriously, why would they sleep in a crypt? I guess that they stay there because not a lot of people go into long dead crypts, but still the logic is kind of whacky. I only ran into two in the first room though, so it was okay. I found some loot and money and stuff and I thought to myself 'You know, maybe it wouldn't be half bad to do some adventuring' but then, there was the giant spider. At this point in time, I was out. The thing came charging at me like a dog and started slobbering it's disgusting venom on me. No, no no no no no. I hate spiders. I realized I hate giant venom shooting spiders more. He was a little harder to kill, but of course I bested him. That was when I noticed the bandit in the web.

He was a dark elf, and from my past experience with dark elves the previous day, my annoyance level was through the roof. He kept commanding me to cut him down. No one tells me what to do. No one. I did cut him down though, but I may have also killed him in the process. Oops.

As I was looting his corpse (he wouldn't need this stuff anymore, right?) I found a journal and the golden dragon claw. One quest completed one more to go. As it turns out, the claw is actually a key to some sort of strange puzzle door I managed to find after surviving traps and undead monsters. Yeah, I wish I was told about these monsters more specifically, but let's just say that someone is going to pay for this. That's not the point though.

When I managed to get into the chamber where the Dragonstone was supposed to be, there was something odd about it. It was kind of bare, there was a sarcophagus and a little table, a chest, but there was also this stone wall. It was so strange. I felt myself drawn to it. I could hear whispers and chanting around me as I slowly approached the monolith. It was inscribed with strange writing, I had never seen these runes before in my life. As I approached, everything started to blur, and the chanting grew louder. I reached my hand out to it, feeling a surge of power course through my veins and causing my heart to beat faster. My vision blurred completely, and the only thing I could see was the word, which seemed to glow. I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and my mind echoed one strange word... 'Fus'. The chanting stopped and my vision came back. I couldn't even reflect on what just happened, because I heard a deep popping sound. The sarcophagus had opened. Another dragur popped out of it, but this one was different from the others I had just fought. It was stronger and had an odd power. It yelled something and I was pushed back. It reminded me about the dragon's power. It was more than weird and I think it was more than a coincidence.

It took a long time to kill the draugr but I finally did it. He had a special axe with an enchantment. I'm not much of a hand to hand combat man, but I kept it anyway, it can be useful if I ever run out of arrows or am overrun. I didn't really care; at least I beat this thing and can get out of this creepy crypt. I found a secret button and the wall opens up and I run as fast as I can.

By the time I got out, the sun had almost set. I was exhausted, I could hardly move. I was overlooking a huge lake and really wasn't sure were Riverwood was from here. Great. I took a step and it turns out the exit was on the face of a cliff. So I pretty much feel down a cliff. After all my troubles, I fall down a cliff. I swear to Talos I will never run errands or go on adventures as long as I live. I will stay in the Inns for the rest of my days.

After I feel down the cliff, I managed to find the path that lead me back to Riverwood. By the time I got there it was dark out. I couldn't make the journey back to Whiterun even if I wanted to, so I rented my old room, but I was pretty much reemed out by the Inn keeper about keeping my room clean and that I have a limit on how much mead I can purchase. I responded to this by cracking all the eggs in the Inn. That's why I am now sleeping in one of the Whiterun guard's bed rolls outside of Riverwood. At least I managed to find some mead lying around (when I say lying around, I may or may not have snuck into the Inn and taken some, but I left five septums on the counter, so it wasn't really stealing). So I'll drink some and try to get some sleep before the guards kick me out.


End file.
